Your faithful supplicants call upon you in this time of dire need. The end days for the sore Big Lick are nigh on, and there if ever there was an occasion for succor for the disciples of the “Way High” and “Deep Walking”, it is now.
The angels of brightness have come in and illuminated our collective sins through social media to a watching world. The aging Senior Vice President of the Breeders Association has made things worse by causing an international incident in which he was publicly rude and insulting to a dues paying Association Director from Canada. His earlier pontificating on the “Internet Chat Court” precipitated a federal lawsuit in California, and resulting bad publicity. And then in brief moments of lucidity, he invoked the name of Joe Willie Namath, who last played football some 40 years ago.
Disturbingly, the recent TWHBEA’s numbers show a 33% reduction in members renewing their memberships from January 2014 to January 2012. Couple that with a 27% reduction in revenue for the same periods and you have a business in a downward spiral. A rather direct disapproval rating of the leadership provided by the “aged” and “ur” ones in charge.
Then there is the King of Darkness and his princely son from the Ville who are coping with a new publication in town which has dared print previously withheld information and facts for the locals to consider. The wizened residents are trying to cope with a wealth of information after being kept in a truth deprived state for so long. And last week in a Poll the Ville residents voted 84% that they could live ok in a world when the PAST ACT becomes the law of the land, and the soring Big Lick is no more.
It is rumored that the next Poll Question will be:
Is it time to remove the King of Darkness and the present Board of Directors at the Tennessee Walking Horse National Celebration?
Deus, we BOYZ are feeling that we have no friends in the world. Some parishioners suggest outreach might help things, so in 2014, the “Year Of The Horse”, we are appointing a Benevolence Committee to attend to those who are put on suspension. And a Prison Ministry to see to the needs of any members who might be away from us for a while. It has also been suggested that a Skit Group be formed so we can perform before various civic groups and promote Big Lick horse show sponsorships. We Boyz, being Boyz and prone to borrow things from each other, sometimes without the other one ever knowing about it, are going to adopt the “Soggy Bottom Boyz” repertoire. Songs include “I Am A Man Of Constant Sorrow” and “I’m In The Jailhouse Now” are popular, and we look the part and can save money on costumes.
Continuing our litany, Almighty, we are burdened with oppressive and immoral , but unfortunately constitutional, plague of Federal Rules called mandatory minimum penalties. They are presently being appealed by a loyal customer from whence cometh all blessings in this life. There’s a box of these penalties that have been sent up to Washington, DC. The King of Darkness has told us if these penalties get uploaded into the USDA HPA database, then some of us need to look into long haul trucking or pro bass fishing as career alternatives. But not to worry, for right now because there is a man in Washington, DC who helps us with so many things who presently has them sitting in a box over in the corner of his office. The King says he was given a wink and a nod, that when a new HIO is approved, that box and those terrible mandatory minimum penalties will go away and never be heard from again.
We are all living for that day.
Now your Almighty, I would be remiss if I did not share with you that we had a calamity befall us last week. Our Trainer BOYZ Sanctuary (formerly the mortuary) was repossessed. We told the Banker Man that if he would just let us get the money in from the National Trainers Show next week that we could pay off the advance he gave us from the 2013 Panama City Trainers Show a/k/a the Spring Vacation compliments of the The Customers. The Banker Man said he was advanced out, and that advances were not bankable propositions, and a new Shelbyville was coming, and that he had to go ahead and take care of business.
So now, we are renters, rather than owners of the building.
Almighty, the annual Trainer’s Show is soon to be held on March 13, 2014, and the Judges have been selected, and another one of those, “OUR LIVILEHOODS IS AT STAKE” meetings have been called for March 12, 2014:
2:00 PM, March 12, 2014 WHTA DIRECTOR BOYZ MEETING
4:00 PM, Mach 12, 2014 WHTA MEMBER BOYZ MEETING
The first “OUR LIVILEHOODS IS AT STAKE” meeting was set for February 17, 2014, but www.billygoboy.com got wind of a mysterious HIO application on behalf of “Independent Inspection Services, LLC HIO with Celebration CEO Doyle Meadows as Chairman.
The HIO Application was sitting on the desk of APHIS Administrator Kevin Shea which was next to a Complaint that APHIS Administrator Shea had filed on behalf of USDA to decertify SHOW, HIO on January 9, 2014. The problem was Administrator Shea was not letting anybody know what he was doing while handling the people’s business who were depending on him to protect The Horses.
So now we have another “LIVILEHOOD MEETING” in 10 days. Our Trainer BOYZ Chaplain, who is also the Celebration Chaplain, who is also the brother in law of one of the Trainer’s Show Judges will be present to officiate at both meetings, and to provide ministerial intervention if feelings get too high and it appears that fisticuffs might be eminent. Last year, we had to vote that we couldn’t show anywhere but S.H.O.W. affiliated shows or neither us or our customers or their horses could show at the Celebration.
Then the King of Darkness‘s son, the Prince, told the public it was our idea, because the King told us we had to suspend the Trainer’s BOYZ license if he showed outside S.H.O.W. HIO, then the Celebration could say the WHTA Boyz did this because if you don’t have a Trainer’s License, then you can’t show at the Celebration. We know the rain falls on the just and the unjust, but it would be providential to just have the rain cloud park over the King of Darkness and rain on him, rather than us.
So there’s no telling what the King of the Darkness from the Ville is going tell our DIRECTORS at 2:00 P.M. March 12, 2014, what we have to do, and then at 4:00 P.M., March 12, 2014, the DIRECTORS will tell us what we have to do.
But right now, we don’t even have our own building any more so I guess we will once again be blamed for everything, and have to do everything they say.
Almighty, please have mercy and look upon our plight with goodness and send a miracle to deliver us from the King of the Ville and his minions.
We know we have sinned perpetuating the sore Big Lick, but if you can deliver us another way to feed our families and free us from this Dark King and his son, The Prince of Darkness, then we will to the 7th generation be eternally grateful.
Prayerfully, reverently, urgently and needfully offered up,
The Walking Horse Trainer Boyz
Editorial Note: If the Trainer BOYZ want to make some money to put in the collection plate, all they have to do is sell tickets to the March 12, 2014 “LIVILEHOOD MEETINGS” and their coffers will overflow.